paris
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Post by paris on Jan 10, 2014 10:34:32 GMT -5
I'm not a fan of gender-reveals. I also am 99% certain I will not want to know anything before birth. I'd say 100%, but I gotta leave some room for error, right?
For you, maybe you could have yoru OB put the gender in an envelope and you and your H open it up over a nice dinner.
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Post by kwith on Jan 10, 2014 10:40:19 GMT -5
Agree with the others that it's AWish. Well, depending on what you do. I think it's one thing to find out at the doctor, host a kick-ass party that's in general about hanging with friends, and then tell everyone the news. Just don't make it the focus of the party, ya know?
I also struggle with them because they over-emphasize how much the sex matters. Knowing the baby's genitalia doesn't help you know the baby any more. In the end, I was eager to find out, happy to find out, and then immediately realized it didn't actually affect how we felt about the baby. It just let us know we had to get serious about coming up with a girl name.
FWIW, it was an incredibly anti-climactic moment when the doctor told us in the office. It was still incredibly special and one of the more tender moments of the pregnancy so far. And then H started talking about needing to find a good shotgun for when she starts dating...
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Post by GoneFishing on Jan 10, 2014 10:51:22 GMT -5
I actually really like smaller more intimate gender reveal parties, if we did one, it would consist of our parents, siblings and spouses if they wanted, and our 2 or 3 closest friends who would genuinely want to be invited, so it would be more than 4 or 6, but way less than 20. I think it seems like a nice compromise that gives you the practicality of knowing the gender ahead of time with the "special moment" of the surprise.
I like big parties less because they seem a little obnoxious, but I'll sure as shit still come congratulate you and eat your pink or blue cake. However I HATE it when the couple already knows and has a party to announce the gender to the world. Those people need to be slapped upside the head with a freezable teething ring until they get their priorities in order.
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Post by sevenofnine on Jan 10, 2014 11:03:17 GMT -5
I know a couple who had a small gender-reveal cake made for their 11 year old daughter. It ended up being a nice family moment.
For me, I think I'd want to know, but not find out in the doctor's office. I'd either do the envelope and open it over a nice meal, or do a cake and take it over to my parents' place. We could Skype in his parents while we all found out together, then eat cake. Mmmm, cake.
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Post by GoneFishing on Jan 10, 2014 11:22:46 GMT -5
Totally agree with everyone! If we did do a party, it would be small - just family and close friends. But since his parents live in FL they wouldn't be there and we'd feel bad if our friends and my parents found out before them. There's always facetime/skype, but then we'd have to include his parents, his brother, my brother, and my sister (which means a lot of our friends would have to be holding phones instead of enjoying the moment. Bummer, because I had a really cute idea that we'd send a friend with "the envelope" to the store and have them buy silly string in the appropriate color for everyone to spray at us. I agree that knowing before everyone and still having a party is stupid and AW-ish. If we did do that we would just have a regular party and maybe find some cute way to announce it, but not make it the focus of the party. We were thinking of taking the envelope with the gender sealed inside to our favorite restaurant and ask them to bring out the corresponding colored dessert.... or picking out an outfit for each gender, taking it to the register, and asking the cashier to wrap up the appropriate one and hide the other. We'd take the "present" home and open it together. I know we're probably way over-thinking all this and it's really not that important, but it's fun!I think the dessert at the restaurant thing is fun. I think the outfit thing is super entitled and as a cashier, I would want to junk-punch a couple that did this especially because it's making a lot of extra work for me without me even making more money for the store or getting to enjoy watching the reveal. |
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Post by LINGERLONGER on Jan 10, 2014 11:22:50 GMT -5
Will there be booze and food? I'm all for any excuse to eat and drink for free.
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Post by GoneFishing on Jan 10, 2014 11:31:39 GMT -5
I think the dessert at the restaurant thing is fun. I think the outfit thing is super entitled and as a cashier, I would want to junk-punch a couple that did this especially because it's making a lot of extra work for me without me even making more money for the store or getting to enjoy watching the reveal. You're right; I hadn't thought about it that way. Although putting it in a box rather than a bag and putting the other outfit off to the side, like you would do if someone changed their mind at the register (which is annoying also) is not much more work. But I get what you're saying. LINGERLONGER, of course there would be lots of free food and booze! Just because I can't drink doesn't mean my friends should have to suffer. See, when you said "wrap up" and "present", I envisioned more than just putting it in a box. But I honestly don't know many stores that keep a box at each register, and it just seems like a lot of PITA for both the cashier (who has to possibly hunt down a box, get one outfit into the box quickly and make sure the other one is well hidden (again not something that is easy at some registers) and for you guys to have to pick out 2 outfits of the exact same price that you both like. I'd still be annoyed, personally. |
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Post by GoneFishing on Jan 10, 2014 12:12:09 GMT -5
See, when you said "wrap up" and "present", I envisioned more than just putting it in a box. But I honestly don't know many stores that keep a box at each register, and it just seems like a lot of PITA for both the cashier (who has to possibly hunt down a box, get one outfit into the box quickly and make sure the other one is well hidden (again not something that is easy at some registers) and for you guys to have to pick out 2 outfits of the exact same price that you both like. I'd still be annoyed, personally. I realized, after I wrote my last response, that the word "present" was probably misleading. We would bring the box with us and not bother to wrap it. Anyway, that was our first [not-very-well-thought-out] idea and I think we both like the other idea better anyway. Yeah, I actually really like the idea of having the restaraunt surprise you. And remember, just because you aren't having a party with other people doesn't mean that you can't still take the envelope to a bakery and have them make a little 6" cake for just you and H. I have no idea what H and I will do. He shocked the hell out of me by being super traditional about not seeing me until the wedding day, so for all I know he may lose his shit at the idea of finding out the gender before delivery. Or he might hate the idea of waiting that long and want to know sooner. Since he's scared to death of the OBGYN in general, he may not even want to be there for any ultrasounds. For us, it really doesn't matter though. We've already got names narrowed down for both sexes (partially due to family traditions) and our kid is going to have a pretty unisex nursery. |
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Post by GoneFishing on Jan 10, 2014 12:43:48 GMT -5
For us, it really doesn't matter though. We've already got names narrowed down for both sexes (partially due to family traditions) and our kid is going to have a pretty unisex nursery. Ditto. We already have our top pics for names (which I reserve the right to change at any time before LO is born; I get sick of things pretty easily and this is a big commitment, so I'm trying to "live" with them for a while). And the nursery is going to be mostly white and grey (think chevrons and those types of patterns) with pops of color. I'm thinking turquoise is pretty gender neutral, but might add purple if LO is a girl (even though purple can be neutral I always associate it with girls because it's my favorite). Ours will be more neutral in the red, orange, purple, blue, and green sort of color scheme.  or I might possibly give the kid a break and go with the more baby-friendly Care Bears until he/she is 2 or so. |
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Post by superminty on Jan 10, 2014 12:58:59 GMT -5
I know a couple who had a small gender-reveal cake made for their 11 year old daughter. It ended up being a nice family moment. For me, I think I'd want to know, but not find out in the doctor's office. I'd either do the envelope and open it over a nice meal, or do a cake and take it over to my parents' place. We could Skype in his parents while we all found out together, then eat cake. Mmmm, cake. I read this and was wondering why they didn't know their daughter was a girl. |
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Post by superminty on Jan 10, 2014 13:04:59 GMT -5
I agree with PPs that gender reveal parties are kind of AWish. I probably wouldn't attend one. H and I have discussed not finding out until our (far in the future) child is born. If we found out by accident, which I know is fairly common, we wouldn't tell anyone or buy any gender-specific items anyway. It seems like if people know the sex of a baby beforehand they want to send tons of cutesie, tiny pink or blue clothes that will only fit for a couple of months and I'd like to avoid that if possible.
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Post by sevenofnine on Jan 10, 2014 13:14:16 GMT -5
I agree with PPs that gender reveal parties are kind of AWish. I probably wouldn't attend one. H and I have discussed not finding out until our (far in the future) child is born. If we found out by accident, which I know is fairly common, we wouldn't tell anyone or buy any gender-specific items anyway. It seems like if people know the sex of a baby beforehand they want to send tons of cutesie, tiny pink or blue clothes that will only fit for a couple of months and I'd like to avoid that if possible. Eh, I don't have a problem dressing a boy in pink or a girl in blue when they're that small. I actually don't have a problem with it at all, but sometimes the kid does when he/she gets older. Once we were carrying around my goddaughter in a baby bjorn when she was 2-3 months old and realized that every part of her clothing that was showing was blue and yellow. Because strangers like asking strangers about babies, a couple asked us how old "he" was. We answered and went on with our life without correcting them that the baby was a 'she'. So we gave her a boy's name for the day and decided we'd be 'those' parents who give their kid a creepily trendy name. The year was 2006, our baby was named Legolas Bloom LastName. Nobody asked, but I enjoyed it. |
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Post by sevenofnine on Jan 10, 2014 13:16:30 GMT -5
Ditto. We already have our top pics for names (which I reserve the right to change at any time before LO is born; I get sick of things pretty easily and this is a big commitment, so I'm trying to "live" with them for a while). And the nursery is going to be mostly white and grey (think chevrons and those types of patterns) with pops of color. I'm thinking turquoise is pretty gender neutral, but might add purple if LO is a girl (even though purple can be neutral I always associate it with girls because it's my favorite). Ours will be more neutral in the red, orange, purple, blue, and green sort of color scheme. or I might possibly give the kid a break and go with the more baby-friendly Care Bears until he/she is 2 or so. YES! I have grand plans for a Care Bear bedroom. My boyfriend doesn't know and would NEVER approve, but I don't care. |
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Post by superminty on Jan 10, 2014 13:21:51 GMT -5
I agree with PPs that gender reveal parties are kind of AWish. I probably wouldn't attend one. H and I have discussed not finding out until our (far in the future) child is born. If we found out by accident, which I know is fairly common, we wouldn't tell anyone or buy any gender-specific items anyway. It seems like if people know the sex of a baby beforehand they want to send tons of cutesie, tiny pink or blue clothes that will only fit for a couple of months and I'd like to avoid that if possible. Eh, I don't have a problem dressing a boy in pink or a girl in blue when they're that small. I actually don't have a problem with it at all, but sometimes the kid does when he/she gets older. Once we were carrying around my goddaughter in a baby bjorn when she was 2-3 months old and realized that every part of her clothing that was showing was blue and yellow. Because strangers like asking strangers about babies, a couple asked us how old "he" was. We answered and went on with our life without correcting them that the baby was a 'she'. So we gave her a boy's name for the day and decided we'd be 'those' parents who give their kid a creepily trendy name. The year was 2006, our baby was named Legolas Bloom LastName. Nobody asked, but I enjoyed it. That is kind of hilarious. I remember people always asking, "What's her name?" when my cousin was little. He was a very pretty baby with long eyelashes and people always assumed he was a girl, even in his blue outfits. I've been to some baby showers where the parents genuinely needed basics for their baby and people gave only cute 0-6 month clothes. I'm sure they appreciated the clothes but were probably disappointed with the lack of necessities. |
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Post by sevenofnine on Jan 10, 2014 16:07:20 GMT -5
Personally, I would want to know the gender of my baby, but I can't quite get my head around the cake thing. Don't get me wrong; cake is awesome and I'll take any excuse to eat some. I just can't imagine having my baker know the gender of my baby before I do. Maybe it's just me. Yeah, but it's just your baker. It's not like he cares. However, saying that, this is my argument against letting my boyfriend ask for my parents' blessing to marry me. Why do my parents get to find out that I'm getting engaged before I do? |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 11, 2014 13:54:38 GMT -5
We found out with our son. We didn't do anything special, just found out through the ultrasound tech and told our family and friends. After we found out, I went FB official, but never mentioned girl or boy unless someone asked. Frenchie, most times the ultrasound done when the sex is revealed is done at the anatomy scan, which is for medical purposes. I'm not sure if this is the case with all OBs, but it was for me. I would never do a party. I also hate when the parents to be are like, well we found out but we aren't telling, and broadcast that they aren't telling all over FB. |
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Post by GoneFishing on Jan 11, 2014 16:14:16 GMT -5
If we learn the gender, I'm pretty sure we will be referring to the baby by his or her name, so keeping the name a secret wont really work for us. I get not knowing but I don't get knowing and then specifically keeping a secret or keeping the name a secret. But that's just me.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 11, 2014 19:11:28 GMT -5
We've learned our lesson about names. We aren't telling anyone our next baby's name until he or she is born. We will tell them if it is a boy or girl. My ILs had such visceral reactions to one of our name choices, that we won't be sharing.
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Post by annathy03 on Jan 12, 2014 12:22:36 GMT -5
The big reveal parties aren't for me, but I don't mind them as long as the couple doesn't know either.
When FI and I get there I'll want to know before delivering, surprises aren't my bag. I'd be down to have a small cake with our parents if his were in town, but really like the restaurant idea for just us.
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Post by snippet17 on Jan 12, 2014 14:06:36 GMT -5
We've learned our lesson about names. We aren't telling anyone our next baby's name until he or she is born. We will tell them if it is a boy or girl. My ILs had such visceral reactions to one of our name choices, that we won't be sharing. Congrats. I agree, there is no way we are telling anyone the names that we picked out until the child is born. I can see many people in my family judging it either way and then we will want to change it because of the feedback. I think gender reveal parties are AWish. |
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