Post ED

[bmorebride6]

Sorry if this is a bit of a downer, but I'm in recovery from a whole mess of eating disorders and have been for almost 2 years now.  My life is 100000000000 times better now that I kicked that crap to the curb, but the thoughts and habits still creep up on me from time to time...the closer I get to my wedding the harder its getting.  People have been commenting on how "good" I look and how I must be "working to get in that dress!".  The thing is...I'm not.  I know this is meant with nothing but the best of intentions but I haven't been actively trying to loose weight and I don't own a scale so I don't know if I actually am or not.  My screwed up head turns that into, "well you must have been HUGE before if they think you look good now!".  Any other's who have dealt with similar situations and how do you keep this stuff from creeping back in? 

[FTL]

Yes. I got this response when I quit working at Starbucks. To be fair, quitting really helped me get healthy (staying away from that pastry cabinet! haha) but I don't think I looked huge before. In fact, I know I didn't. I dropped about 10 pounds or so; but I had changed a lot of fat for muscle. I have never been "big" by any means, but hearing people praise my looks made me feel like they thought there was something wrong with me beforehand.
Ultimately I just came to terms with
1. People truly mean well
2. I feel great
3. My H thinks I look great
4. I wasn't happy with where I was before, so, if nothing else, my attitude has changed with my lifestyle now. And that is always noticeable to people.

We all are at different stages of fitness, we all have different goals, we all have different strengths and weaknesses (My VO2 Max level is through the ROOF but I can't run to save my life). These people that are complimenting you are finding you inspiring, whether you want to be or not. Take that as a huge compliment.

Ultimately, people are telling you that the present you is smokin' and that is the you you are right now, no? Not the you you were yesterday or last week or last year. So the YOU right NOW is what matters. That's a great thing.

[CNF]

Listen to FTL, she knows her stuff! I'm also a recovered slew of ED crap mess of a person. It's been, gosh, 8 years now for me? It still creeps back in, and I understand your feelings and your frustrations. That mind set gets into the back of your brain and lodges there. Sometimes I still feel like I have a dormant piece of crazy harboring in the depths of my mind somewhere just waiting to slink back out. But recognizing that is truly important to recovery. Know your triggers, know what it feels like when those thoughts and compulsions come creeping back in, and squash that shit quick.

I agree with FTL, people mean well. It's hard not to think "God how huge was I" when they say those things, but it's always meant with good intention. I highly doubt you were huge and now, with working out and changing your lifestyle and getting healthy, you're probably radiant, and people notice that. You are beautiful, no matter what. Please don't feel otherwise based on others people comments. YOU are beautiful, truly!

[GoneFishing]

I wish I could like FTL's post on the app, because it is so very true.

Also, remember, they may not actually be commenting on your weight, but your muscle tone, your clothing and styling, or even just how much happier you are now. All of these things affect our physical appearance to others in ways we don't even realize, and honestly they don't either. They just know you look fabulous and want to tell you so.

[bmorebride6]

Thank you ladies!  You are so right.  My problem is I had a huge exercise addiction and exercised to the point of passing out and eventually breaking a bone.  Now that I've learned what normal exercise is, it is still tempting to overdo it because well...physical exhaustion was always easier to deal with then emotional or mental exhaustion.  I just need to take a step back and remember HOW much HAPPIER I am now, regardless of size...no size is worth being so miserable.