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Post by jenn314 on Jul 2, 2015 10:40:28 GMT -5
My friend just had a baby and I can't wait to go visit because I need a baby fix! I'm starting to realize that for me, the envy is based on who the person is. Maybe that makes me a bad person, but I feel no envy for two people who tried for a while and have been married for a while, but I feel loads of envy when it comes to the couple who got married after us and were together for a much shorter amount of time. I'm getting tired of all the "reasons" we're waiting. Blah. I'm right there with you. My coworker friend in her late 30's, who had several miscarriages and has a surprise, but very healthy pregnancy? Not at all jealous. High school class mates who don't have their shit together and are getting pregnant despite their short time together with their partner? Some definite twinges. Do you and H have a timeline for when you'll start trying? We've been talking about it a bit more. We've always said we'd start trying at 29 because we picked a random number (so if it happens somewhat soon, we'll be around 30). But lately we've been talking more about if we're ready and what position we'd like to be in. Financially, things were a mess for awhile. We're about to pay off the last student loan. We need to have a decent emergency fund, especially since I'm going to have to take unpaid maternity leave. So that will be the next goal. And H wants a new car first (we want to buy it in cash). So there's a lot of things that we'd like to get checked off the list before we have kids. But the loan is almost paid off. And we might be getting some insurance money from our break-in, and that would help jump start the e-fund (it's enough to cover normal expenses for maternity leave). So we just have a few more goals to finish, and I think we'll do pretty well with them. I'm ready now. H is not, but he's getting there. He's never really been a baby person and I think it scares him because he's never been around babies. But then again, he'd never really been around puppies or dogs before and now we have one and he's obsessed. So I think he'll come around by the time we had originally talked about. And he seemed much much more receptive to the idea of maybe not waiting until we hit some magical age. So we'll see. I'm sorry annathy03
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Post by nsweare on Jul 3, 2015 8:20:05 GMT -5
(((Hugs))) to all of you.
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Post by runnermom on Jul 27, 2015 21:40:39 GMT -5
I am so happy I found this thread. How are you all doing?
I am having some major baby fever today. FI and I had decided that after the wedding we'd start TTC. Now with all the drama, and the whole wedding thing up in the air, I can't help but fixate on the wanting to TTC part. I think it's because I feel like all the fun from the wedding has been sucked out of it; any mention of it makes my FI so sad. It also probably doesn't help that I went to a friend's baby shower this weekend. I'm literally sitting here at work, day dreaming about going to the courthouse, doing the thing, celebrating with dinner at our fave place, and then heading off to make some babies.
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Post by jenn314 on Jul 28, 2015 8:50:48 GMT -5
My aunt handed me my 2 month old cousin the other day and he started screaming. It helped lol!
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2015 9:25:26 GMT -5
I'll join you on the bench. H and I are talking about waiting about 1.5-2 years until we start TTC. We just need to be in a better place financially so we're really working to get our ducks in a row. H has a ton of student loan debt that really eats away at our take home pay. We're talking about downgrading to a smaller apartment once our lease is up here. We're currently in a 2 bedroom. We thought it would be nice having that extra space as we got accustomed to living together, but it just goes unused. It's wasted space for us, really. Hopefully, it will help us get our debt paid down faster so we can get started on the other things we want to do.
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Post by mrsELF6713 on Jul 28, 2015 11:58:24 GMT -5
My aunt handed me my 2 month old cousin the other day and he started screaming. It helped lol! LOL; we just went camping with BIL/SIL and their two kids (1yr/3yr)...and yeah, that was overwhelming. I was like I'll be over here with my puppy who listens so well and does not cry @echappe86 glad you and H were able to continue your conversation and have a plan in mind. We are in the same boat and it can be frustrating. H is back and forth all the time. Just the idea of talking about it sometimes freaks him out. runnermom sorry about the wedding drama. I have been so busy at work the last 2 weeks I have been MIA and am catching up. Hope things get better and you can enjoy the process. At least you guys have each other and no matter what wedding you choose it will be about you and H.
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Post by runnermom on Jul 28, 2015 14:07:10 GMT -5
My aunt handed me my 2 month old cousin the other day and he started screaming. It helped lol! LOL; we just went camping with BIL/SIL and their two kids (1yr/3yr)...and yeah, that was overwhelming. I was like I'll be over here with my puppy who listens so well and does not cry @echappe86 glad you and H were able to continue your conversation and have a plan in mind. We are in the same boat and it can be frustrating. H is back and forth all the time. Just the idea of talking about it sometimes freaks him out. runnermom sorry about the wedding drama. I have been so busy at work the last 2 weeks I have been MIA and am catching up. Hope things get better and you can enjoy the process. At least you guys have each other and no matter what wedding you choose it will be about you and H. Thanks! It is what it is and I'm sure we'll make the best of it. I'm feeling less whiney about it today, and less baby crazy. Lol.
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Post by snippet17 on Jul 29, 2015 7:56:33 GMT -5
My next birthday is 30. Wahhh. I agree with @jennylee. 30 is just a number. I wouldn't worry about it. I didn't start TTC until I was over 30. When the baby is born I will be 34 and DH will be 32.
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Post by annathy03 on Jul 29, 2015 9:58:03 GMT -5
My next birthday is 30. Wahhh. me too. boo. Me three. dirrtybutter this just means we need to have a big dirrty30 party
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Post by Deleted on Jul 29, 2015 12:37:47 GMT -5
Lol at bacon bits. That's cute I'll be 29 come December, and most likely won't be TTC until after 30. I just think back over the course of my early to mid 20's, and, good grief, there's no way I could've handled keeping another human alive. I feel far more capable now although come 40 maybe I'll feel the same way about myself now. Who knows?
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Post by runnermom on Jul 29, 2015 13:49:42 GMT -5
30 is the new and improved 20. I look better now, dress better now, and have a lot more money to spend. My idea of fun is different now (I can't hang past midnight, and binge watching TV with some yummy food makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside), but it's a good different.
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Post by mrsELF6713 on Jul 29, 2015 13:58:09 GMT -5
I had a doc appointment yesterday and was expecting the whole OMG you are 32 and need to get on the baby making train ASAP because you are not getting any younger... and I was relieved my doctor was very supportive and encouraging that it should not be about age and it should be about when the timing is right (even if its never perfect). I was relieved to get supportive advise Of course there will be preventative procedures when we are older and TTC, but it helped me relax and not feel so down that we are not ready yet. I'm going to enjoy the next few months and stick to getting the things done we would like to happen before TTC
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Post by Deleted on Jul 31, 2015 9:29:42 GMT -5
I had a realllllly vivid dream last night that I was pregnant, and due any day. In the dream, I started getting contractions, and it was awful. My stomach didn't hurt or anything when I woke up, but it was so strange. Clearly I shouldn't eat Mexican before bed anymore. I think it also means that baby fever has returned. I had one of those a few month ago. I can still remember that dream so well. I told H about it, and he was like "OMG GET A TEST." I laughed it off no big deal, but I went into work at that mall, and started feeling really nauseous. I kept trying to tell myself there was no way. Then I started thinking because my BC pills are that 3 month pack where you only get your period once every 3 months, and I just started a new one. So then I thought well what if I am? I wouldn't know I missed a period until 3 months down the road (nevermind there are plenty of pregnancy symptoms that could have clued me in along the way). I ended up stopping at Walgreens to get a test on the way home. Most definitely negative, and I felt like such a dummy. Baby fever makes you do crazy things
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Post by annathy03 on Jul 31, 2015 12:24:46 GMT -5
Stupid hormones, making our brains go all baby crazy. I promise I'm a perfectly rational person, but OMG babiieeeeessssss. Yep. I had a dream similar to eba1012 a few months ago and I had to talk myself down from getting a test before my period was even due. Then AF wasn't there in the usual morning that cycle and I was freaking out, once it came I knew it was only late BECAUSE I was freaking out. I'm on the pill and was still "OK, if it doesn't show up by tomorrow I'll pick one up" and sure enough it came that night before bed. Not even a whole day late, and I was going nuts. I will say as crazy as I can get right now logic seems to prevail because I have to be the reasonable one. H has made it clear he'd like to put a baby in me ASAP. Love to babe but I may get laid off at the end of September and if I get/take the job I interviewed for* it has a 6 month intensive training program that I'd rather not battle morning sickness through; not to mention FMLA doesn't technically protect your job in the first year. *Interview went really well so fingers crossed! I wouldn't start there until September at the earliest which would push us to March-April, in which case I'd want to start trying over our 2 year anniversary in April. The plan was January pre work-craziness and H would like to pull it forward to October (or now, but we have friends coming out for my 30th and he knows I want to be able to drink at my own party).
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Post by annathy03 on Aug 14, 2015 14:02:36 GMT -5
Question for those who have agreed upon timelines with your SO...what do you say when people ask you when/if you're having a baby? We have a timeline we're comfortable with, but anytime someone asks I still just want to say NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS (but instead just say "oh, you know, eventually. One of these days"). H on the other hand is super honest (brutally so, sometimes) and has no problem telling people exactly when we plan to start trying. It's not that it's a secret exactly...I just feel like it really is none of their business. Are we the same people? I like to shy away from it unless it's a friend I'm close enough with that I'll be talking shit through with them when we are (soooo.... my BMs basically). H is all "HERE IT IS" and I've had to explain to him that since we aren't guaranteed to get knocked up quickly that I'd rather the whole world not know.
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Post by jenn314 on Aug 14, 2015 14:15:10 GMT -5
Question for those who have agreed upon timelines with your SO...what do you say when people ask you when/if you're having a baby? We have a timeline we're comfortable with, but anytime someone asks I still just want to say NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS (but instead just say "oh, you know, eventually. One of these days"). H on the other hand is super honest (brutally so, sometimes) and has no problem telling people exactly when we plan to start trying. It's not that it's a secret exactly...I just feel like it really is none of their business. H usually tells people "eventually" with a glare. He sort of has mastered the glare so people stop asking. We've both agreed that even when we do start trying, we aren't going to tell anybody because it may take a while and we don't want to deal with it. We've had several conversations actually. My parents struggled for 10 years to have kids so that's a very real fear for me. I couldn't imagine being asked "Are you pregnant yet?" for ten years if people knew we were trying so we're very hush hush about it. But then, H and I have a lot of conversations about stuff way early because I have weird feels about fertility and how far I'd be willing to go and already know my hard lines. We talked about it before marriage because I was concerned it could be a deal breaker for H and wanted to be fair to him. So we're not the "norm" I think.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2015 5:39:11 GMT -5
We don't really get asked. I can only think of one person who really pressed the issue, and she's BSC so we shut that one down pretty quickly. Otherwise, I think each of our parents have asked if wanted kids one day. We said yes, and they've left it at that. Every now and then one of my students will ask if we want kids, but again just "yes" is good enough for them.
I don't really see much issue with being honest. Neither does H. I guess I feel like TTC is something people should me open to talking about especially since it seems so many couples have difficulty getting pregnant. If we start getting asked more frequently my answer might change, but I think we'd be pretty open and honest about it.
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Post by kristenkay on Aug 15, 2015 7:27:27 GMT -5
Even when we were trying I would tell people, "eventually" "we want to get more travel in before having a baby". H's extended family is really the only group of people who asked. I imagine by Christmas they'll be asking when we want baby #2. Then it will be "not for a while" and "maybe in a couple of years". They don't need to know our actual baby making plans. I feel okay telling my close friends what our real plans are though, but plans could change and it's not like trying=pregnant.
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Post by annathy03 on Aug 17, 2015 15:28:16 GMT -5
My due-in-January friends decided they're going to do a Dr. Seuss themed nursery focused on "Oh the places you'll go".
My ovaries may have exploded.
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Post by jenn314 on Aug 20, 2015 10:08:05 GMT -5
My due-in-January friends decided they're going to do a Dr. Seuss themed nursery focused on "Oh the places you'll go". My ovaries may have exploded. Someday I will use this theme. /gavel
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